It is fitting that I am ending this week with this section of Luke 18. I have felt like something has been missing in my spiritual walk. I feel like there is something I am holding back that is preventing me from totally experiencing God's blessing. I cannot place my finger on it, either. That makes it doubly frustrating. Let's look at the primary message of this chapter as Jesus talks about meeting the Rich Ruler.
22When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
23When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. 24Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." – Luke 18:22-25
I don't know if I would consider myself rich. I manage my finances well and get by for what little I am able to bring in, but it isn't much. Compared to the way most of the world lives though, I am exceedingly wealthy. This makes me wonder if I call into this category. Is this what I am holding back? I know I try to begin each day by giving myself to God. I am praying that I do just that right now. I pray that He will use me today as he sees fit. Even in doing so, however, I feel like I am going unused. That leads me to feel like something is missing in my life.
I think it goes back to Wednesday's lesson on how God uses what little faith we have to do great things. That has been stuck in my head for most of this week. It has been a bad week as far as my mood goes. Still, I can see where God can simply use what faith I have instead of increasing it to make me better. The mere fact I have faith, no matter how little it feels at the moment, is enough for God. He only asks that we believe. Right now this feels very disjointed, but I pray that what small faith I have will be enough.
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