When it comes to choir robes, they are much different than nursing scrubs. These nursing scrubs are often dusty in the back of the choir room, being worn only a few times a year. That is why medical scrubs are much more versatile because they come in assorted colors and are worn nearly every day by professionals that performt he duties that keep us healthy.
Most of these people are nurses and doctors, and they should need a uniforms. These products not only make them look official, they help them carry all the critical equipment needed for their profession. Like anything else, they are a critical tool for the job.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Center
I draw inspiration this morning from the oddest of sources: professional wrestler Shawn Michaels. I was listening to him on a podcast with Sportswriter Bill Simmons on my way in to work. Michaels talked about how Job suffered enormously, yet he remained right in the center of God’s Will the entire time. That's why I am glad I visited www.compassion.com.
I have strayed from the center of God’s Will into a place where, well, I don’t know where I am. Sure, I am doing God’s Will in terms of my writing and the promise that gives. I am thankful for that. I am doing God’s Will in helping people through my current main job. I work on paperwork for a Mental Health Diversion program that helps people avoid jail if they have a serious mental illness. Where I have strayed from God’s Will is in my personal relationships and Christian ministries.
Shawn Michaels stated how it is more important to be in the center of God’s Will even through bad things then to pursue what we perceive is good if it is not in God’s Will. Right now, I am far from God’s Will, and I am not in a good place. My marriage appears to be little more than an arrangement with a roommate that I don’t mind living with. We share common interests, but there is very little love there anymore. I am ashamed to say there are more times when I am greatly annoyed by tiny little things to the point where they consume me. Since there is almost no connection anymore I find myself just longing for silence and solitude at home.
I know we got here because we have strayed from having God at the center of this marriage. Seeking any other answer, no matter how easy or how good we might think it would be, is wrong too. That is what Michaels was alluding to this morning. It may feel right to seek something else, but if we look in the long run it makes things much, much worse. We’re both guilty of this, and instead of seeking that reconnection there is only resentment. I must find my way back to the center of God’s Will.
I have strayed from the center of God’s Will into a place where, well, I don’t know where I am. Sure, I am doing God’s Will in terms of my writing and the promise that gives. I am thankful for that. I am doing God’s Will in helping people through my current main job. I work on paperwork for a Mental Health Diversion program that helps people avoid jail if they have a serious mental illness. Where I have strayed from God’s Will is in my personal relationships and Christian ministries.
Shawn Michaels stated how it is more important to be in the center of God’s Will even through bad things then to pursue what we perceive is good if it is not in God’s Will. Right now, I am far from God’s Will, and I am not in a good place. My marriage appears to be little more than an arrangement with a roommate that I don’t mind living with. We share common interests, but there is very little love there anymore. I am ashamed to say there are more times when I am greatly annoyed by tiny little things to the point where they consume me. Since there is almost no connection anymore I find myself just longing for silence and solitude at home.
I know we got here because we have strayed from having God at the center of this marriage. Seeking any other answer, no matter how easy or how good we might think it would be, is wrong too. That is what Michaels was alluding to this morning. It may feel right to seek something else, but if we look in the long run it makes things much, much worse. We’re both guilty of this, and instead of seeking that reconnection there is only resentment. I must find my way back to the center of God’s Will.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Gone too long
My apologies, but I have been gone way too long. A lot has happened in the last three months. I have gained at least part-time employment. I have been writing more in an area that I want to write, though that has come at the sacrifice of this blog. I have also become more centered and calm in my life. It is refreshing.
I essentially had a complete mental breakdown on April 16th. Since then, I have been in therapy and officially on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication for the first time in my life. I used to be wary of this because I felt like it was not trusting God if I went on those meds. Instead, I have seen that God has allowed mankind to advance to the point where we can get the help we need.
I have neglected this site because I haven't felt like I have been in a position to write properly here. I noticed that tons of spam has taken over some comments, but there have been a few genuine comments as well. For those, I thank you. I am hoping to come back here a little more regularly as God calls me to. It is not serving hte same role that it once did in my life, but there is a still a purpose there. The purpose is to tell my journey and my story.
Despite everything I have experienced in my life, God has blessed me with some genuine peace over the last three months. Now it is time to step back, enjoy that peace, and get back to my work of serving Him. All he asks is that we seek forgiveness because the penalty has been paid by the blood of His Son. It is in that forgiveness that we offer so much more of ourselves.
I essentially had a complete mental breakdown on April 16th. Since then, I have been in therapy and officially on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication for the first time in my life. I used to be wary of this because I felt like it was not trusting God if I went on those meds. Instead, I have seen that God has allowed mankind to advance to the point where we can get the help we need.
I have neglected this site because I haven't felt like I have been in a position to write properly here. I noticed that tons of spam has taken over some comments, but there have been a few genuine comments as well. For those, I thank you. I am hoping to come back here a little more regularly as God calls me to. It is not serving hte same role that it once did in my life, but there is a still a purpose there. The purpose is to tell my journey and my story.
Despite everything I have experienced in my life, God has blessed me with some genuine peace over the last three months. Now it is time to step back, enjoy that peace, and get back to my work of serving Him. All he asks is that we seek forgiveness because the penalty has been paid by the blood of His Son. It is in that forgiveness that we offer so much more of ourselves.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Serving
One of the greatest things we can do with our lives is serve others. As I have battled my anxiety and depression issues over the past few weeks I have found a modicum of relief on praying for others instead of myself. I am trying to learn the lesson God is trying to teach me as I wait for so many things to change in my life. At least if I am praying for others and trying to help them in my daily life I feel like I am doing something while I wait for my time to come. This is where patience and humility become virtues. I have written on patience and humility numerous times here in the past, but they are both lessons that we, as humans, struggle to learn fully.
Even though my prayer life has struggled of late, I have tried to keep others ahead of myself in my morning prayers. I have friends and family that are fighting serious illness, that need protection, and friends that are parents. I like to especially pray for the children of those close to me. I have seen the mistakes that I have made and that others have made and I pray constantly that these children will not repeat the same mistakes in their lives. I think maybe that is why I am struggling with the idea of me becoming a parent. I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility of potentially screwing up someone else's life when I haven’t made the best decisions for myself.
This si where my biggest deficiency comes in lately, and the one thing I have prayed most for myself. I am suffering from a severe lack of faith in God. It’s not that I question if He can provide, it is that I question if he even still exists. I feel I have had very little connection with the Father lately even in praying for others. As a result, I feel my life has very little purposes other than taking up consciousness during the day before I go to bed at night. It is a lonely, disquieting feeling.
But I am moving forward though. Lately, each day has felt like a small step forward. I am encouraged not because everything is fixed in my life, but I have hope that there will eventually be a day where I am okay. Eventually, everything will be solved and I will finally be able to move forward after such a long period of stagnation. In the meantime, I pray that God’s grace is with others and that he keeps them moving forward in their lives. That is more important to me right now. If he is not going to work in my life I pray that he is at least working in the lives of those around me.
Even though my prayer life has struggled of late, I have tried to keep others ahead of myself in my morning prayers. I have friends and family that are fighting serious illness, that need protection, and friends that are parents. I like to especially pray for the children of those close to me. I have seen the mistakes that I have made and that others have made and I pray constantly that these children will not repeat the same mistakes in their lives. I think maybe that is why I am struggling with the idea of me becoming a parent. I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility of potentially screwing up someone else's life when I haven’t made the best decisions for myself.
This si where my biggest deficiency comes in lately, and the one thing I have prayed most for myself. I am suffering from a severe lack of faith in God. It’s not that I question if He can provide, it is that I question if he even still exists. I feel I have had very little connection with the Father lately even in praying for others. As a result, I feel my life has very little purposes other than taking up consciousness during the day before I go to bed at night. It is a lonely, disquieting feeling.
But I am moving forward though. Lately, each day has felt like a small step forward. I am encouraged not because everything is fixed in my life, but I have hope that there will eventually be a day where I am okay. Eventually, everything will be solved and I will finally be able to move forward after such a long period of stagnation. In the meantime, I pray that God’s grace is with others and that he keeps them moving forward in their lives. That is more important to me right now. If he is not going to work in my life I pray that he is at least working in the lives of those around me.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
About Love
Today I discovered the story of Eva Markvoort. She was a 25 year old woman with cystic fibrosis that recently passed away while awaiting a double lung transplant. She shared her experience and her battle online via blog, gaining worldwide support and attention. More importantly, however, she talked about the importance of love.
We are reminded of love multiple time in the Bible that God is love. Romans 8: 39 states this as much.
39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
God sent his Son to die on the cross for us because He loved us. Therefore, one can argue that love is the greatest gift that has been given to mankind. It is our responsibility to spread that love around for as long as we are on this earth.
I was reminded of this because of Eva’s story. She made her mission to love as much as possible while she battled her disease. She easily could have folded and given up in the face of a daunting challenge. Instead, she not only fought, but she was a source of strength and love for others. I was blown away by her Wall of Love in her hospital room. This is a woman that I will never meet, but I can tell that she was bursting with love for anyone that touched her life. It is an example that we can all follow.
I have had trouble loving other lately. I have sadly retreated into my own shell and my own pain away from everyone else. I haven’t felt like I can be useful to others in my pain, even though many others are much worse off than I am. It is my goal to turn this around in the coming days and to spread love like Eva spread love.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
A Leap of Faith
I can tell that God is asking me to have more faith lately. It’s strange too, because I have never had a time of less faith in my life. I feel like God is asking me to trust Him when it comes to making the leap and trying for a child. He is also asking me to trust Him when it comes to a new medication that may help with some of the problems I have been facing mentally. It is a big step for me to come this far and admit I need help. I need to take the following big step after that and see if medication is indeed the answer.
17He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. – Ephesians 2:17-18.
Peace. I have felt far away from peace for some time. Even as I read these words, part of God’s promise to us, I question if that promise can be fulfilled. It is not unusual for me to question even these promises lately, so it has not made for a fun existence.
They are promises, however. There is a lesson in this: Sometimes we have to merely keep pushing ourselves forward every day. I know I am in a very low point right now, but I am still going forward. As much as I want to lay down and quit, I can’t. That is how these promises are fulfilled.
17He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. – Ephesians 2:17-18.
Peace. I have felt far away from peace for some time. Even as I read these words, part of God’s promise to us, I question if that promise can be fulfilled. It is not unusual for me to question even these promises lately, so it has not made for a fun existence.
They are promises, however. There is a lesson in this: Sometimes we have to merely keep pushing ourselves forward every day. I know I am in a very low point right now, but I am still going forward. As much as I want to lay down and quit, I can’t. That is how these promises are fulfilled.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Trying to be open
I have dreaded today for a long time. Now that I am back home after another wonderful trip to Miami, I am forced to return to a life that is offering very little promise. My first day back is another lonely one at home with no advancement either in my career in my personal life. This adds to my feelings of isolation and loneliness. I think this is why I have struggled so much lately with my perspective of time. Everyone else seems like they have been allowed to advance in their lives while I have the same result every day regardless of what I try. If I try to move forward, nothing happens. If I stay in one place and wait for God, nothing happens.
This has led me to doubt God’s very existence. That is something that has shaken me to my very core. I have tried to read and reassure myself with the promises of the Word, but they have done very little to calm the deep sense of foreboding that I feel deep within me. I am terrified of what the future holds for me, but I have no choice but to move forward. Lately, this fear has been paralyzing at times. It makes me not want to get out of bed in the morning and can cause me to freeze up in public.
So I guess today, instead of trying to impart some wisdom, it is me reaching out for prayer. I have lost a great community of fellowship. I repent of walking away and trying to make it on my own spiritually. That is not something we can do at all. It is my prayer this morning that you can find your own community to get involved with spiritually, and that you can advance according to God’s will. I solemnly ask that you pray the same for me as well.
This has led me to doubt God’s very existence. That is something that has shaken me to my very core. I have tried to read and reassure myself with the promises of the Word, but they have done very little to calm the deep sense of foreboding that I feel deep within me. I am terrified of what the future holds for me, but I have no choice but to move forward. Lately, this fear has been paralyzing at times. It makes me not want to get out of bed in the morning and can cause me to freeze up in public.
So I guess today, instead of trying to impart some wisdom, it is me reaching out for prayer. I have lost a great community of fellowship. I repent of walking away and trying to make it on my own spiritually. That is not something we can do at all. It is my prayer this morning that you can find your own community to get involved with spiritually, and that you can advance according to God’s will. I solemnly ask that you pray the same for me as well.
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